Lonely Night Şiiri - Mesut Selçuk Sarpkaya

I woke up,
in the middle of night.
I woke up after,
I heard,
call of mists.
November,
Sweet november,
Month of my loneliness.
Am I belong to
anyone?
Can I trust to
anyone?
Why am I in
such world?
Why was I born
in this world?
What am I doing
in such cruel world?
Why was
I born?
Did God
love me?
Did God
want to watch my life?
Am I
a puppet?
Where will
I find?
Answers
Of all answers
You
love me
I
love you
Do they
love me?
Why
I don't understand?
Why
am i like that?
If I was another one
would I know
I was another one?
Or I would not know?
How will
I know?
Am I supposed to
know?

Why am I
alone?
Why am I
sad?
Do I have to
get pain always?

Will I
suffer?
Will I
die?
Will someone
save me?
Why devil
uses me like a toy?
Who will
give answer?
Who can be
wisest?
why
me?
when will I get
answers?
I don't know.
I don't know
anything.
I don't know
what answer is.
I don't know
If I am good.
I don't know
If I am bad.
I don't know.
If someone
loves me.
I don't know
anything.
Anything.
Anything.
Anything.
Anything.
Anything.
Anything.
Because I am
nothing.
Am I
something?
Am I
special?
Why am i
sad?
If I am
sad,
Does that mean
I am special?
If I am
special
And others are
ordinary
Why their lifes are
better than my life?
Or my life is
better than their lifes?
How will
I know?
Who will
answer me?
Who will?
who?
Who?
Who?
Who?
Me?
You?
They?
God?
God,
loves me.
At least
I think god loves.
Others think
God loves me.
Why?
Why?
I feel like
I don't feel that love?
Am I that
lonely?
If even God
doesn't love me
Then what
is the meaning of life,
of everything,
of being alive,
of being human?

Am I
wrong?
If I am
wrong
How will I
know?
Who is going to
teach me I am wrong?
Who is the
wisest man
of such
cruel,
sad,
lonely,
desperate,
alone,
sweet,
beautiful,
ugly,
good,
bad world?
Teach me!
My dear
books.
You have not given any
hope,
any knowldge.
I tried to
learn a lot.
Why you don't give
any knowledge?
Knowledges are
false?
Fake?
Where is the
real truth?
Where can I
find?
I want.
I want.
I really
want.
I surely
want.
I really
need.
I really need
to live.
I really need
the truth.
The truth
before all truths.
The truth
after all truths.
The truth of
all truths.
Real.
Reality.
What is
real?
Is truth
real?
Or
reality?
Teach me
what real is!
Teach me!
How I will
realize the truth?